For the last few years now I've really been extremely busy at work in a high-pressure environment and top priority project in the company, and my music studio life has been slowly drifting out of grasp. In the evenings and weekends, instead of spending time in studio as usual, I lately find myself mostly just taking a break by doing something else, instead. I always used to lose track of time when I got busy with music, and often when looking at the clock a few minutes later, hours would have passed already and the next moment, time was up.
My day job has been overwhelming and I think I've lost my mojo. For example, I can't remember the last time I played saxophone, it used to be a passion to me. The sax has been untouched in its case. I've also been slow to take on new studio productions with new artists, almost avoiding it. So opposite from what I used to be like.
Something else is, that for the last number of years, it was only me and my mate still keeping our band alive. We were the original founders of "After-Hours", created decades ago and I've always believed we would still keep it going into our old age. We've done quite a few recordings of our original songs in the studio and had a decent number of new tracks that we were still busy working on, and got together typically once a week.
However, after COVID it never really continued and the relationship slowly deteriorated, and for some years now nothing much has happened. I don't understand why, but we've drifted apart and I've found that there is no will to pick things up again. For a long time, I thought things would bounce back. I've invested in some new gear and guitar software, ready for the come back, and believed my mate was just going through a rough patch, and at some point, we would be back recording again, still chasing our dream, but it's been not much more than a waste of money. Over time it dawned on me that I had false hopes, and ultimately came to terms with that we've reached the end of the line. After Hours is no more, and worse, I've lost a lifelong friend. I keep wondering if it was me but there are no clear answers, and as time waits for no man, on life has to go. We've had some of the best times in my life together, and those memories are what I want to fill this void with. Such a large part of my life was dedicated to After Hours, I really gave it all I could and I'm proud of what we've achieved. It is just sad to end that journey this way, fading into history, unresolved.
Music will always be a part of me so I'm not backing out totally, the studio still continues but I'm scaling down. I'm starting to focus on more important things where I can actually make a difference. One worth mentioning, is spending quality time with my wonderful wife, overdue by a long shot. For decades, she's stepped aside for the other love in my life, music. Again, we are starting a new exciting journey in our lives together and we're absolutely committed to make the most of it.
