For the last few years now I've really been extremely busy at work in a high pressure environment and top priority project, and it has caused me to be getting less and less into the studio. In the evenings or weekends, instead of spending as much time in studio as I normally would, I lately find myself mostly just taking a break and doing something else. I always used to lose track of time when I got busy with music, and often when looking at the clock a few minutes later, hours would have passed already and the next moment, time was up.
My day job has been (and still is) stressful and all consuming and I've been experiencing burn-out, and I think it's caused me to loose my mojo. For example, I cannot remember the last time I played saxophone, something that used to be a passion to me. I've also been slow to take on new productions with new artists, almost avoiding it.
For the last number of years it was only me and my mate still keeping our band alive. We were the original founders of After Hours decades ago and I've always believed we would still keep it going until our old age. We've done a few recordings of our original songs in the studio and had a decent number of tracks that we were still busy working on.
However, after COVID it never really continued and the relationship slowly deteriorated, and for some years now nothing much has happened. I don't understand why, but we've drifted apart and I've found that there is no will to patch things up. I've invested in some new gear and guitar software and believed my mate was just going through a rough patch, and at some point we would be back recording again. But over time it dawned on me that I had false hopes, and I've ultimately accepted that we've reached the end of the line. After Hours was no more, but worse, I've lost a life long friend. I keep wondering if it was me but there are no clear answers, and time waits for no man and on life has to go. We've had some of the best times in my life together, and that is what I want to remember. A large part of my life was dedicated to After Hours and I'm proud of what we've achieved. It is just sad to end that journey by looking away and letting it fade into a memory.
Music will always be a part of me so I'm not backing out, the studio still continues. But I'm starting to focus on more important things too. One worth mentioning is spending quality time with my wonderful wife, overdue by a long shot. For decades, she's stepped aside for the other love in my life, music. Now, we are starting a new exciting journey in our lives together and will certainly make the most of it.
