For the last few years now I've really been extremely busy at work in a high-pressure environment and top priority project in the company, and it has caused me to be less and less into the studio. In the evenings and weekends, instead of spending as much time in studio as I absolutely could, I lately find myself mostly just taking a break by doing something else, instead. I always used to lose track of time when I got busy with music, and often when looking at the clock a few minutes later, hours would have passed already and when I know it, time was up.
My day job has been (and still is) stressful and feels almost all consuming for some time now, and I've been experiencing burn-out, and I think it's caused me to lose my mojo. For example, the last time I played saxophone is just a memory, something that used to be a passion to me and which I did so often, without effort. The sax has been untouched in its case. I've also been slow to take on new studio productions with new artists, almost avoiding it. So opposite from what I used to be like.
For the last number of years, it was only me and my mate still keeping our band alive. We were the original founders of After-Hours, created decades ago and I've always believed we would still keep it going into our old age. We've done quite a few recordings of our original songs in the studio and had a decent number of new tracks that we were still busy working on, and got together typically once a week.
However, after COVID it never really continued and the relationship slowly deteriorated, and for some years now nothing much has happened. I don't understand why, but we've drifted apart and I've found that there is no will to pick things up again. For a long time, I thought we would bounce back. I've invested in some new gear and guitar software and believed my mate was just going through a rough patch, and at some point, we would be back recording again, chasing our dream but it's been not much more than a waste of money. Over time it dawned on me that I had false hopes, and ultimately came to terms with that we've reached the end of the line. After Hours is no more, and worse, I've lost a lifelong friend. I keep wondering if it was me but there are no clear answers, and as time waits for no man, on life has to go. We've had some of the best times in my life together, and those memories are what I want to fill this void with. Such a large part of my life was dedicated to After Hours and I'm proud of what we've achieved. It is just sad to end that journey this way, fading into history unresolved.
Music will always be a part of me so I'm not backing out totally, the studio still continues but I'm scaling down. I'm starting to focus on more important things where I can actually make a difference. One worth mentioning, is spending quality time with my wonderful wife, overdue by a long shot. For decades, she stepped aside for the other love in my life, music. Again, we are starting a new exciting journey in our lives together and are absolutely committed to make the most of it.
